I Have a Secret

Will you tell me yours if I tell you mine?

Okay folks, it’s time to reveal one of my dark and dirty secrets.  Well, not so much dirty as neurotic.  I know you think I’m perfect, but I do have my flaws.  My right pinky toe is just a smidge shorter than the left one.

Seriously though, I’m a hoarder.  Not like “about to be on a reality show” level hoarder.   I’m selective in what I collect.  I’m a food hoarder.

You might be familiar with some of my stories about growing up poor and not having enough to eat at times.  The fact is food insecurity plagued me for the first half of my life.  My mother’s food stamps often ran out before the end of the month, leaving us with nothing to eat.  I probably ate my weight in welfare cheese as a child.  Free lunches at school helped ease my hunger, but I couldn’t rely on them for weekends and during the summer. 

As a young adult, there were times when I had to choose between buying food, paying my rent, or getting my heart medication from the pharmacy.  I always chose my rent first so I could at least have someplace warm to experience palpitations and starvation. Pro tip: working in food service allows you to scarf down scraps that would have otherwise gone into the garbage.  It’s like recycling but my belly is the bin.

These days, my life is secure.  My husband and I are homeowners.  We can afford to buy groceries every week.  But I can’t shake that worry.  Once you’ve felt that kind of hunger, it doesn’t go away.

Last week, Kroger had a 99-cent sale.  Canned goods that run $1.99 or more were on sale for 99 cents, so I loaded up.  There’s barely enough room in the cupboard for all the Campbell’s soup cans.  Ditto the boxes of macaroni and cheese.  The crazy thing is, I don’t eat a lot of processed food.  I’ll have a can of soup once a week in the colder months. 

This food doesn’t go to waste.  A couple times a year, the food bank will have a canned goods drive, and I donate most of our inventory so it can be consumed before it expires.  Then I go ahead and load up at the next sale.  I do the same with staples like bathroom tissue, paper towels, and laundry detergent.  I stash it all away so it isn’t in piles around the house, but it’s sitting in the closet or cupboards. 

I felt vindicated in some small way during the pandemic.  While the rest of the world was scrambling to find toilet paper, I had my stash of Charmin Ultra Soft, accumulated before the shortage so I wasn’t contributing to it. We had food and supplies, even hand sanitizer, to see us through. 

My pandemic-era treasure trove.

The jury is still out on whether this is a brilliant survival plan or a trauma response to years of food insecurity.  Either way, I doubt I will change my ways soon.  After all, if it’s on sale, and I have a coupon, that means I have to buy it – right?

My challenge to you this week:  Help alleviate some of the food insecurity in your own neighborhood.  You’re probably going to be handing out candy in a few days but consider helping out with other food.  Find a food bank or soup kitchen near you and make a donation – either food or money, whichever they prefer.  Or volunteer at one of these.  Thanksgiving is coming up, and many soup kitchens provide Thanksgiving dinner.  Do they need help preparing and serving that meal?  I once peeled 85 pounds of potatoes on Thanksgiving Eve. Maybe you could volunteer to be a driver for Meals on Wheels.  Although they operate on weekdays, they sometimes need volunteers for Christmas Day and New Years Day.

Now it’s your turn.  What’s your confession?  Tell me in the comments.  But this is a public forum so don’t go confessing to anything you don’t want people to know.

Now I’m going to go have a can of Homestyle Chicken Noodle Soup for lunch.

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