It's the most exhausting thing I've ever done. Sometimes, I have to detach and escape to the bedroom and get on my computer for a while (like now.) Connecting with others who don't need my help is healing.
I'm taking care of my parents as well. They live separately. Thankfully, neither are as advanced care as your Dad is currently, but I know it's only a matter of time. It's been on going for 3 years. It wears on us. My siblings are of no help either. I bought a video baby monitor to put at my Dads so I can check on him daily. We can talk through that as well, when he's having difficulty figuring out his flip phone. Dementia has taken hold. He insists on staying independent at home. So I've tried to accommodate his wishes. However, when his COPD is really bad, I stay with him. It's insanely exhausting and hard to keep up with my own health. However, I know if I wasn't around both of them wouldn't be either. I try to remain grateful that I am able to help care for them. But it definitely takes a huge toll on my health at times. Like this weekend, I have had three days off in a row from work and have not been able to accomplish even a load of laundry. I wish I had some words of encouragement for you. Hang in there, my friend. You're doing the best you can. And that's all we can do. 🩷
(Hugs} It's never hard to lose a loved one, especially not watching them slowly deteriorate. I hope my exit is swift and nobody has to suffer along with me. Just exit stage left, Horatio.
Ha! I say embrace it. There’s way too many super filtered and highly edited videos out there. We’re living with chronic illness, who has time for that? I thought you looked and sounded strong & fab.
BIG HUGE HUGS, Dawn. You're doing amazing things...In the carer forums we call them Poonamis. I used to layer up sheets with disposable bed pads, like a lasagne, so I could strip off sheets and pads in one go, with minimal disturbance to Dad. Yup Tena pads are brilliant. Warm blankets - brilliant idea.
I've suddenly had the realization that if these shitstorms have a specific name, they're probably not that rare. Oh dear gawd, tell me this doesn't happen a lot. If I could insert and emoji from my laptop, it would be the screaming face.
It's unpredictable. I couldn't tell you a normal amount, but for friends and family I've been alongside, there were more, now and again, in the last few months. Bed pads, wet wipes and cream...oh my. BUT better than a painful 'obstruction' for them.
FYI the term was started by Pampers adverts and adopted by carers forums.
Poonamis. That sums it up. I used so many bed liners. I went through two dozen in no time. However, I don't think I will ever be able to look at lasagna the same way again.
Love you, Dawn. A couple suggestions. Please ignore if not useful.
If your father is willing, bedside commode.
When mom was prepping for colonoscopy I’d put a stack of disp. Pads under her. And changed them out as necessary. He may not like that for dignity reasons.
He has a commode somewhere in one of the pole barns. I didn't have time to go fight the spiders to look for it. We did the pads. So many pads. I hope we're all done with that business.
Missing a word… At Home Hospice is Not Adequate!!! We don’t get the actual help that is understood when signing up for it… Home Health Care Aids are Not Nurses… The system is broken… Causing so much suffering & stress on everyone in the family… The Aide should be helping YOU further…Nurses should be there daily… I’ve been where you are… Again, so difficult on everyone… Take care… PS Gidget will be doing her best to help you in every way that she can… Thank Goodness for her & your husband…
The current setup is 2 nurse visits and 3 aide visits per week, M-F. One hour of time per visit. It would be fine if we had a bigger family, but it's just me and my stepbrother, and he works a lot of hours and isn't around much. This is not sustainable for a long-term solution. But it's what I'm doing for now.
I moved to FL for my Mom/best friend… FL is a nightmare in itself…I never left her side… Including the Home &!Hospital Hospice… I was there until she passed…It was so traumatic… I actually have the same kind of Leukemia… Your story on Medical PTSD also resonated deeply w/me!!! The chemo destroyed my veins… Also had those ridiculous IV’s in a vein in my thumb!!! The average healthy person that has great veins that are barely used..doesn’t get it!!! I’m so sorry for everything you are going through… I truly understand all of it!💙
I'm sorry you're a member of the bad veins club. And I'm very sorry about your mother, as well as Florida. I don't think I could tolerate the heat, or the bugs. I'm a northern girl. And you have the same type of leukemia as your mom? What are the odds? I'm so very sorry. I hope they can find a way to get it into remission for you.
TY Dawn, I’m in a temporary remission as of a couple months ago. There’s no cure for this. Treatment causes a new set of problems.. Yet, seeing all the other patients…Things can always be worse… My heart breaks for all the other Cancer Patients…
The Medical PTSD can be extremely complicated… Never underestimate your needs…There’s also a situation where someone doing your IV is incompetent or just needs to get out of medicine… I do have permanent Nerve Damage from IV Injuries… In most states in the US, the LAW is 2 attempts/sticks… After that… they must get another person… PS Hospitals always have an AnesthesiologyTeam, for extreme cases… You don’t need to continue to apologize… Quality Care today… can be limited… Xanax taken early enough can help in many cases… PS It absolutely sounds like the nurse hit a nerve in your thumb…I’m really sorry about the way you were treated… There’s No Excuses!!! I worked as a Surgical Tech for many years… I threw surgeons out of my OR that were ruthless & caused harm & pain to my patients on purpose… You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen!?!🙄
As far as living in the heat, humidity & bugs… absolutely sucks! I would definitely take a snowstorm over a hurricane, any day!!!
Wishing you, your family, Dad & beloved Gidget McFidget the best… Try to get paperwork & have that sweet pooch be your Service Poochie!!! She would be able to go to most medical appointments w/you… 💙
Sending you a big hug… sounding like you could use one! Hospice that is paid for never is quite adequate… It’s a bit more helpful in a Hospital Setting… Speaking from experience…💙PS Wishing you & your family some greatly needed peace…
I’m just seeing this. It’s so difficult to watch a parent in this stage. I’m praying for you as you care for him, your dad and your whole family.
It's the most exhausting thing I've ever done. Sometimes, I have to detach and escape to the bedroom and get on my computer for a while (like now.) Connecting with others who don't need my help is healing.
This sounds so hard. I'm glad Gidget is there with you, but I wish I could send you a hot cup of coffee.
Gidget is always glued to me. I have found a place where I can get a latte around here. The nearest Starbucks is an hour away.
I'm taking care of my parents as well. They live separately. Thankfully, neither are as advanced care as your Dad is currently, but I know it's only a matter of time. It's been on going for 3 years. It wears on us. My siblings are of no help either. I bought a video baby monitor to put at my Dads so I can check on him daily. We can talk through that as well, when he's having difficulty figuring out his flip phone. Dementia has taken hold. He insists on staying independent at home. So I've tried to accommodate his wishes. However, when his COPD is really bad, I stay with him. It's insanely exhausting and hard to keep up with my own health. However, I know if I wasn't around both of them wouldn't be either. I try to remain grateful that I am able to help care for them. But it definitely takes a huge toll on my health at times. Like this weekend, I have had three days off in a row from work and have not been able to accomplish even a load of laundry. I wish I had some words of encouragement for you. Hang in there, my friend. You're doing the best you can. And that's all we can do. 🩷
(Hugs} It's never hard to lose a loved one, especially not watching them slowly deteriorate. I hope my exit is swift and nobody has to suffer along with me. Just exit stage left, Horatio.
Lovely to “see” you, I’m sorry it’s under such difficult circumstances. Sending you and your family much love right now.
It was a lovely video of me. No makeup, post crying, allergies flaring to the moon and back. My video debut. I can only improve from here.
Ha! I say embrace it. There’s way too many super filtered and highly edited videos out there. We’re living with chronic illness, who has time for that? I thought you looked and sounded strong & fab.
BIG HUGE HUGS, Dawn. You're doing amazing things...In the carer forums we call them Poonamis. I used to layer up sheets with disposable bed pads, like a lasagne, so I could strip off sheets and pads in one go, with minimal disturbance to Dad. Yup Tena pads are brilliant. Warm blankets - brilliant idea.
Sending strength and empathy.
I've suddenly had the realization that if these shitstorms have a specific name, they're probably not that rare. Oh dear gawd, tell me this doesn't happen a lot. If I could insert and emoji from my laptop, it would be the screaming face.
💩🌊 sorry Dawn 🤪
It's unpredictable. I couldn't tell you a normal amount, but for friends and family I've been alongside, there were more, now and again, in the last few months. Bed pads, wet wipes and cream...oh my. BUT better than a painful 'obstruction' for them.
FYI the term was started by Pampers adverts and adopted by carers forums.
Poonamis. That sums it up. I used so many bed liners. I went through two dozen in no time. However, I don't think I will ever be able to look at lasagna the same way again.
Love you, Dawn. A couple suggestions. Please ignore if not useful.
If your father is willing, bedside commode.
When mom was prepping for colonoscopy I’d put a stack of disp. Pads under her. And changed them out as necessary. He may not like that for dignity reasons.
I wish I were there to help.
Please take care of yourself as best you can.
🌷🌷🌷🌷
He has a commode somewhere in one of the pole barns. I didn't have time to go fight the spiders to look for it. We did the pads. So many pads. I hope we're all done with that business.
Missing a word… At Home Hospice is Not Adequate!!! We don’t get the actual help that is understood when signing up for it… Home Health Care Aids are Not Nurses… The system is broken… Causing so much suffering & stress on everyone in the family… The Aide should be helping YOU further…Nurses should be there daily… I’ve been where you are… Again, so difficult on everyone… Take care… PS Gidget will be doing her best to help you in every way that she can… Thank Goodness for her & your husband…
The current setup is 2 nurse visits and 3 aide visits per week, M-F. One hour of time per visit. It would be fine if we had a bigger family, but it's just me and my stepbrother, and he works a lot of hours and isn't around much. This is not sustainable for a long-term solution. But it's what I'm doing for now.
I moved to FL for my Mom/best friend… FL is a nightmare in itself…I never left her side… Including the Home &!Hospital Hospice… I was there until she passed…It was so traumatic… I actually have the same kind of Leukemia… Your story on Medical PTSD also resonated deeply w/me!!! The chemo destroyed my veins… Also had those ridiculous IV’s in a vein in my thumb!!! The average healthy person that has great veins that are barely used..doesn’t get it!!! I’m so sorry for everything you are going through… I truly understand all of it!💙
I'm sorry you're a member of the bad veins club. And I'm very sorry about your mother, as well as Florida. I don't think I could tolerate the heat, or the bugs. I'm a northern girl. And you have the same type of leukemia as your mom? What are the odds? I'm so very sorry. I hope they can find a way to get it into remission for you.
TY Dawn, I’m in a temporary remission as of a couple months ago. There’s no cure for this. Treatment causes a new set of problems.. Yet, seeing all the other patients…Things can always be worse… My heart breaks for all the other Cancer Patients…
The Medical PTSD can be extremely complicated… Never underestimate your needs…There’s also a situation where someone doing your IV is incompetent or just needs to get out of medicine… I do have permanent Nerve Damage from IV Injuries… In most states in the US, the LAW is 2 attempts/sticks… After that… they must get another person… PS Hospitals always have an AnesthesiologyTeam, for extreme cases… You don’t need to continue to apologize… Quality Care today… can be limited… Xanax taken early enough can help in many cases… PS It absolutely sounds like the nurse hit a nerve in your thumb…I’m really sorry about the way you were treated… There’s No Excuses!!! I worked as a Surgical Tech for many years… I threw surgeons out of my OR that were ruthless & caused harm & pain to my patients on purpose… You wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen!?!🙄
As far as living in the heat, humidity & bugs… absolutely sucks! I would definitely take a snowstorm over a hurricane, any day!!!
Wishing you, your family, Dad & beloved Gidget McFidget the best… Try to get paperwork & have that sweet pooch be your Service Poochie!!! She would be able to go to most medical appointments w/you… 💙
Sending you a big hug… sounding like you could use one! Hospice that is paid for never is quite adequate… It’s a bit more helpful in a Hospital Setting… Speaking from experience…💙PS Wishing you & your family some greatly needed peace…