OMG! I'm Allergic to Dinosaurs!

You can't take me anywhere

Today, my husband and I decided to have relaxing day for the 4^th of July and went to the theater to watch “Jurassic World Rebirth.” The 10:30 a.m. showing attracted less than a dozen people – exactly the way I planned it. Although we’re five years out from the heart of the pandemic, I still don’t like to be in a crowded venue.

Our two seats were in one of the VIP pods. It’s a brilliant marketing strategy. These pods feature two recliners, each with a side table, enclosed in a little plastic semi-bubble. I like the fact that they limit exposure to other attendees. I’m sure some couples like the sense of privacy for theatre make-out sessions.

We shared a big bag of popcorn drizzled with that fake butter oil that likely clogs your arteries faster than bacon grease. We reclined, snacked, and watched thirty minutes of coming attractions, then I felt a burning sensation in my left eye, sort of like I had been chopping onions.

Photo by Huang Yingone on Unsplash

The movie began with Scarlett Johansen playing the lead role of a woman who was essentially the Black Widow in another universe. She does a great job of portraying a tough woman in a man’s world. I appreciate her grit, or her acting like she has grit.

Twenty minutes into the movie, my left eye started running tears. I was using up the paper napkins I grabbed for popcorn at super speed. Eventually, I used the flowy sleeve of my shirt to discreetly dab my eye. Cue the runny rose. I’m not going to wipe snot on my sleeve.

An hour into the movie, the latter half involved sniffling and clearing my throat, I left my seat to head to the ladies room. I needed to blow my nose and possibly splash water on my face. The first look in the mirror shocked me. The lid to my left eye was so swollen and thick that I couldn’t open it all the way. Both eyes looked red and bloodshot, with the right eye just beginning to swell. A tickling sensation, like a piece of popcorn stuck in my throat began, and my left ear felt full, making voices sound muffled like they were under water.

I grabbed a fistful of napkins at the concession stand and headed back to my seat. I don’t know how much of the movie I missed in ten minutes, but someone was getting eaten by a dinosaur, so I figured the plot had moved along.

Photo by Blond Fox on Unsplash

For the next hour, I watched the movie with only my right eye, keeping the left one closed to keep it from running nonstop tears. My throat continued to itch, and my nose ran until I used up all the napkins.

When I took my bathroom break, I stopped to swallow my lunchtime medications. As they slowly dissolved among the popcorn in my gut, the side effects kicked in – chills, nausea, that swimmy feeling in my head. Paired with whatever was happening with my sinus symptoms, I really wanted to go home and curl up under the covers.

Thank goodness I remembered that the recliners were also heated seats. Although it was eighty degrees outside, I had the heat cranked up to stop my chills. With my one eye closed, I came close to nodding off a couple times, my slumber only interrupted by that tickle in my throat coughing me awake.

Suddenly I recognized the symptoms. I was having an allergic reaction. In the past, this specific reaction had been initiated by contact with cats. If I weren’t sitting in the middle of a sparsely populated movie theatre, I would have suspected there was a cat nearby.

I nearly cheered when the rescue copter appeared. I may have been happier than the characters because I knew this meant the end of the movie was near. Alas, it was not quite as near as I hoped, but it did eventually come to an end.

The end credits barely began to scroll across the screen before I jumped from my seat and dashed for the exit. Once outside, the brilliant sunlight blinded me. My eyes were extremely sensitive to the light, and I clung to my husband like he was my seeing eye dog to lead me to the car.

We arrived home twenty minutes later with most of my symptoms already dissipating. I rushed inside the house and flushed both of my eyes with saline then held a cold washcloth against them as I crawled under the covers and curled into a ball with Gidget McFidget by my side for a long afternoon nap.

Nearly all of my symptoms resolved by dinner time, although I felt exhausted for the duration of the night. I still don’t know what triggered such a powerful and sudden allergic reaction, but it really did a number on me. I will probably take a Benadryl at bedtime while I give one to Bruce to help him deal with the inevitable fireworks.

As I’m writing this, I realize I dealt with the issue in the most “woman with a chronic illness” manner possible. When you’re used to feeling less than well on a regular basis, you don’t panic when your body does weird shit. You perform your own triage. “Is this bad enough to go to the hospital or urgent care?” Look at the flow chart. If the answer is “yes” ask “are you sure?” If the answer is “no” then go about your business as usual. The ending arrow for both avenues is eventually “business as usual.” It never ends in “go to the hospital” unless you’re unconscious and someone else makes that decision for you.

Despite my allergies, the movie was really good. I highly recommend “Jurassic World Rebirth” if you get a chance to get to the movies this weekend.

I wonder, do you think I’m allergic to dinosaurs?