Learning to be my own best friend and cheerleader has been a massive part of my journey. It’s only in the creation of my upcoming journal (more of a companion, guide and journal) that I’m realising just how much and to what extent. That all those practices, one by one, for years, were the bedrock of the support I so desperately needed. that in the end, I became that support for myself.
I’ve never been diagnosed with ptsd (don’t need one) but I can’t not have it.
I believe that everyone has their own varying degrees of trauma. How it affects them, and how they deal with it, changes with each individual. I used to simply stuff everything down hard and not know why an explosion happened. Since I've begun unpacking a seemingly bottomless suitcase of pain, I've learned how to understand why I have outsized responses to small irritations and can control my reactions.
Incredible work that you’ve been doing. The payoffs are big but like you say, it’s a bottomless case!
In the end, I learned it was the lack of emotional support that had the most devastating impact on my physical and mental health. 6 years in, the healing has felt a lot gentler this year. Not quite as brutal as previous years🙏😅
Just remember to be your own best friend! If you wouldn't say it to someone else, don't say it to yourself. Compassion should extend to yourself as much as to others.
Number one quality that tells me I may need to take a closer look at someone before I invite them into my life: Sense of Humor!!! If that is lacking, there is a good chance integrity, honesty, and a loving nature and missing, too. Keep writing! I love this post!
Wow that has definitely explained why I do the things I do. So much trama for my brain to deal with. Instead of just my body shutting down now I understand why and yes I think I might just have those conversations with my new little friend on my shoulder 💖
This is so interesting. I would never have connected the dots to this being a trauma response, although it clearly is: the expectation that something bad is going to happen because something good happened and the lack of belief in yourself. I completely relate. It was less than two years ago that I began to see myself as a writer— not even a good writer, just a writer period. That was after many many years of working professionally as a writer. And, yes, the roots of that belief were formed from experiences in childhood and then compounded by years of comparison. It’s definitely something I’ve had to work on and probably will for the rest of my life. But I’ve also come to realize that as a now safe, secure adult, It’s up to me to push back against the inner narratives that have no basis in reality.
I used to have that belief that when something good happens, something bad is sure to follow. I’m pondering how that belief still plays out - I enjoy so much great health throughout the month but then illhealth to some extent still follows. It’s got me pondering this now. Thanks for highlighting it in your comment, it really got me reflecting 🙏🔹
Have you tried tracking the ups and downs in your health? I have found that my own health flares seem to be related to the weather. It's raining today, and rain rhymes with pain because the two seem to travel together.
Yeah it’s all related to my menstrual cycle (what’s left). I’ve been rebalancing my hormones for years so it’s reduced from 2.5 weeks severe illness for 2 menstrual attacks to odd days mild pain and only few symptoms.
The sun has been a trigger but only since 2018. Less so this year than previous.
Outside of menstrual cycles, we have the moon cycle. I work with both (at one time, we all bled in alignment with the moon and each other but now it’s all gone to pot).
I used to find that my health would be most challenged during my period over a full moon. It was full moon on Sunday (currently in my most challenged time) but so far so good 🤞
I got into a habit of asking what I wanted to let go of over a full moon and what I wanted to bring in over a new moon to begin with. For one stand-alone practice, it was one of the ones that had the greatest impact. Possibly because it got me working with energy and deepening my connection to my body and intuition even more.
I’ve found all this super fascinating but if it weren’t for the downfall of my life, I never would have taken any interest.
Yes, I'm learning that many of the things I do are trauma responses. It's the gift that keeps on giving. As far as expecting something bad to follow something good, it's waiting for the other shoe to drop.
You are good. Really good. Live with it. 😊
I have no other choice than to believe you.
Learning to be my own best friend and cheerleader has been a massive part of my journey. It’s only in the creation of my upcoming journal (more of a companion, guide and journal) that I’m realising just how much and to what extent. That all those practices, one by one, for years, were the bedrock of the support I so desperately needed. that in the end, I became that support for myself.
I’ve never been diagnosed with ptsd (don’t need one) but I can’t not have it.
I believe that everyone has their own varying degrees of trauma. How it affects them, and how they deal with it, changes with each individual. I used to simply stuff everything down hard and not know why an explosion happened. Since I've begun unpacking a seemingly bottomless suitcase of pain, I've learned how to understand why I have outsized responses to small irritations and can control my reactions.
Incredible work that you’ve been doing. The payoffs are big but like you say, it’s a bottomless case!
In the end, I learned it was the lack of emotional support that had the most devastating impact on my physical and mental health. 6 years in, the healing has felt a lot gentler this year. Not quite as brutal as previous years🙏😅
I hope 2025 is your best year yet!
I hear myself in those examples above...Self talk is not always kind.
Just remember to be your own best friend! If you wouldn't say it to someone else, don't say it to yourself. Compassion should extend to yourself as much as to others.
Number one quality that tells me I may need to take a closer look at someone before I invite them into my life: Sense of Humor!!! If that is lacking, there is a good chance integrity, honesty, and a loving nature and missing, too. Keep writing! I love this post!
If you, too, can laugh at life's curveballs, you may have a case of Trauma Brain.
You are an excellent writer Dawn!
Thank you. Depending on the day, I either believe that or I don’t. It really depends on how many rejections I get from editors.
Wow that has definitely explained why I do the things I do. So much trama for my brain to deal with. Instead of just my body shutting down now I understand why and yes I think I might just have those conversations with my new little friend on my shoulder 💖
Yes, be your own best friend! And check out Elaine’s YouTube channel. She has so many great nuggets of wisdom.
This is so interesting. I would never have connected the dots to this being a trauma response, although it clearly is: the expectation that something bad is going to happen because something good happened and the lack of belief in yourself. I completely relate. It was less than two years ago that I began to see myself as a writer— not even a good writer, just a writer period. That was after many many years of working professionally as a writer. And, yes, the roots of that belief were formed from experiences in childhood and then compounded by years of comparison. It’s definitely something I’ve had to work on and probably will for the rest of my life. But I’ve also come to realize that as a now safe, secure adult, It’s up to me to push back against the inner narratives that have no basis in reality.
I used to have that belief that when something good happens, something bad is sure to follow. I’m pondering how that belief still plays out - I enjoy so much great health throughout the month but then illhealth to some extent still follows. It’s got me pondering this now. Thanks for highlighting it in your comment, it really got me reflecting 🙏🔹
Have you tried tracking the ups and downs in your health? I have found that my own health flares seem to be related to the weather. It's raining today, and rain rhymes with pain because the two seem to travel together.
Yeah it’s all related to my menstrual cycle (what’s left). I’ve been rebalancing my hormones for years so it’s reduced from 2.5 weeks severe illness for 2 menstrual attacks to odd days mild pain and only few symptoms.
The sun has been a trigger but only since 2018. Less so this year than previous.
I'm post-menopausal, so I can't blame my cycles. It's all about the weather anymore. And sometimes poor food choices.
Outside of menstrual cycles, we have the moon cycle. I work with both (at one time, we all bled in alignment with the moon and each other but now it’s all gone to pot).
I used to find that my health would be most challenged during my period over a full moon. It was full moon on Sunday (currently in my most challenged time) but so far so good 🤞
I got into a habit of asking what I wanted to let go of over a full moon and what I wanted to bring in over a new moon to begin with. For one stand-alone practice, it was one of the ones that had the greatest impact. Possibly because it got me working with energy and deepening my connection to my body and intuition even more.
I’ve found all this super fascinating but if it weren’t for the downfall of my life, I never would have taken any interest.
Yes, I'm learning that many of the things I do are trauma responses. It's the gift that keeps on giving. As far as expecting something bad to follow something good, it's waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I love the trick of having a conversation with your best friend! I wouldn't say half the stuff to my bestie that I say to myself!
Right? I tend to cuss myself out when I can't find where I left something. But I would never do that to someone else - usually.